"Plan 9 from Planet Mediocre" or "Beige of the Monster"

Remember when people had opinions, or movies could be great or terrible? Today I actually managed to sneak a little peak at the Edmonton Journal we get for the library at Mayerthorpe Jr. Sr. High (Go Tigers!).

What did I have the pleasure of reading? I ,of course, flip to the sports section (Go Oilers!) and then on to the "Culture" section to see what movies are opening or playing as I may get a chance this long weekend to catch a flick.

What to see? City of Ember, The Express, Body of Lies, The Duchess hmmm decisions, decisions. Let's see... out of seven films reviewed today six have three star reviews! (Sprinkling a 1/2 star on a review is just putting lipstick on a mediocre pig)

Only 1 movie actually engaged a reviewer and that was An American Carol it got a 1 star drubbing. MOVIE FANS!!! GO SEE AN AMERICAN CAROL, at least it has the courage and bravery to fail mightily and maybe make you feel, instead of lulling you into a semi-conscious state that only makes you wonder where all your time and money went. Added incentive-it is Ed Wood's birthday today, what better way to celebrate that pillar of cinematic virtue.

Instead of renting or watching movies that are "okay" or "fine" challenge yourself and Hollywood by seeing something that enrages you (for me it's Forces of Nature...deep breathes class starts soon) or moves you to ecstatic levels of imagination and discussion (Bullitt- unbelievable nearly dialogue free and compelling). We and our wallets deserve better from our filmmakers.


"Now, don't you worry. The saucers are up there. The graveyard is out there. But I'll be locked up safely in there."


S

A little word from the little bird

David Mamet has written some fairly good films ( The Verdict, The Untouchables, Homicide, Oleanna, The Spanish Prisoner, Wag the Dog, Glengarry Glen Ross and of course Hannibal- well you can't hit home-runs with every swing of the bat) and even directed a couple of keepers (Spartan and State and Main). But just last night I watched a fascinating little movie called Redbelt. 

This film centred around a ju-jitsu instructor and his student who become embroiled in the high-stakes world of fixed mixed martial arts competitions. The tone and tempo of this movie are as tightly controlled as the moves of an expert fighter. Everything is connected and set in motion by something else. Action Reaction. Just as each punch has a counter or every hold an escape each act or line a character gives forces the others to counter in a specific way. The competent loner with the intractable code of ethics or behaviours has a long and glorious history in cinema (Thief and Le Samourai are just two that leap immediately to mind here).

Redbelt is a fascinating exploration of the martial world and its place in a modern setting, as well as the honourable man who will not veer from his path no matter the consequences. 

"Even if one's head were to be suddenly cut off, he should be able to do one more action with certainty."-Ghost Dog

S

 

It's been a while II: The Pajama Jam

Well it is official I am now a teacher and the first week raced past me and I could hardly remember my own name let alone the names of 100 different kids. Whew.

What have I been up to on the ranch movie wise you may be asking yourself. Well let me tell you what is playing the most in the quiet quiet night. Prime Suspect. Helen Mirren is compelling to watch. Relentless and driven to succeed, she is not a person to be messed with. Mirren's Tennison does not suffer fools gladly and it shows. The mysteries and politics combine to give a very complete portrait of life in the London police force. This is one police drama that actually begins to approach the sanctity of The Wire. The first 3 seasons are extended cases from start to finish, in season 4 the show switchs to a more traditional case an episode formula that said howevereach episode checks in at about an hour and a half. This makes each episode a movie in and of itself.

The supporting cast is always varied and interesting and brings to bear on Tennison various aspects of her own personality reflected back to her. This makes Tennison occasionaly pause and consider her course of action and the impact it may have on someone. That is refreshing after seeing countless renegade cops who can't work within the system but get things done regardless of the cost paraded out by the Hollywood stereotype machine over and over again. There is a certain melancholy that hangs in the atmosphere around each of the stations we find Tennison solving crimes in as she works her way up the ranks.

Prime Suspect makes for very compelling viewing as you try to work out the truth along with the detectives on screen. Rent this once the snow begins to fly and stay in huddled up and enjoy the chase, because you need to see each season as close to start to finish as you can manage. Now that The Wire is done what have you got to lose?

"I like to be called Governor or The Boss. I don't like Ma'am - I'm not the bloody Queen."
and thankfully so as the show would likely be completely differnt if she were.


Sean

P.S. We now have the interwebs out at the ranch and so these posts should be occuring a little more frequently. Now you don't all have to thank me at once, I do it for the love of the game.

It's been a while...

Hey everyone, I hope you are all enjoying the summer Folk Fest, Fringe, and any other little get together you can name. Moving to the country has had its perks-silence, no neighbours- and its drawbacks-no tv, no internet, no movie theaters or rental places within blocks- but somehow I will solider on. When I wrote last I claimed to be done with bad movies, welll a guy can only resist so much.

When you make a movie with George Takei as a ninja master who runs a strip club what's a boy to do? The answer: watch Ninja Cheerleaders. It's as bad as it sounds in that special kind of way that makes you laugh and wonder where your evening went. Three cheerleaders, all straight A students, train as ninjas (ninji?) in the afternoon when not fending off sexual advances from students and faculty at their school. By night they "dance" at the Strip Palace where they have to fend off sexual advances by the Navy. Why are they dancing you might ask? WHy to raise money for tuition at Brown University of course. This film is amazing for its lack of nudity and violence the film makers' show a lot of restraint and class because the film should always be about a terrific story. Ooops, they forgot to add that as well. This is a must rent for die hard Trishelle Cannatella fans only. If you know who that is with out looking her up then I am talking to you.

Meanwhile on the good movie front I just rewatched the stunning and boggling epic There Will Be Blood. Daniel Day-Lewis is mesmerizing and the visuals of the film never fail to delight the eye. A strange and compelling story that unfolds over years about a man as driven and focused as Captain Ahab. I'm finished.

Also good news, The Wire Season 5 is now out on video, how does a show this rich and compelling get overlooked for so long? After I became a convert intent on swaying others to my viewpoint I cannot think of a single person I persuaded into watching this gem who has come back disappointed. Right from the gfet go in season 1 the tension begins to build and a desire to see these characters, who are fully rounded and flawed, through to the end. Even the unpleasant aspects of Sgt. Jay Landsman grow on you. Rent season 1 and tap into The Wire ...get it?

Hopefully the Mrs., the boy and I will be getting Interwebs hooked up sometime soon so these transmissions will not have to be dictated to my assistant from a pay phone on the side of the Yellowhead at a rest stop any longer.

So until next time remember what Omar tells us.

"The game's out there, and it's play or get played. That simple."

Will Herodotus write of me?

Hello to all my rabid readers, I apologize for being away from the keyboard for so long. First up a word, or two, about Meet the Spartans. Yes I watched it, and it has caused irreparable harm to my ability to revel in the straight to video DVD movie the way I once did. Before Meet the Spartans I could happily watch movies like Impact Point and find some enjoyment or entertainment in them. Now post-Spartans I find myself unable to go on if the movie stinks. The Spartans have defeated me they made a movie so unfunny and dull that it actually killed my sense of humour.

In light of the death of my sense of humour let us proceed to three films that showed me the young carefree Sean died that day at Thermopylae. 

1st- Diamond Dogs- Dolph Lundgren in Mongolia as a ex-special forces officer (of course). Really what's not to like. I could only bear 5 minutes of this movie. The voice over is terrible, the 'acting' worse, and the editing of the fight sequences unwatchable. 

2nd- Twin Daggers- strictly amateur hour it looks like it was made for a grand total of $2.78. Now a low budget does not equal a bad movie (for example  Primer, Clerks) but in this case it certainly does. I am an admitted sucker for martial arts movies but I had to bail out when the killer mime (that is not a typo) shows up to kill some vague mafia stereotype and laughs out loud. What made anyone think that was a good idea? The editing is so rapid and choppy during any action sequence you lose all sense of character and place. Bad bad bad.

3rd- Finishing the Game- the "mockumentary" genre is finished. This is about finding the next Bruce Lee so some film makers can finish "Game of Death". Not that funny guys. Justin Lin also directed a gritty first feature called Better Luck Tomorrow that was both praised and reviled for its portrayal of Asian American students and their foray into crime that quickly spirals out of control. Unfortunately Lin also directed The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift and is finishing production on the next installment of that franchise.

I will from now on be writing to you only about more serious and thoughtful film fare like Anchorman and Semi-Pro.

"Farewell, Adieu... remember me."-Master Thespian

Hi, hi, hi, Mr. Deltoid!

Recently I have been to the movies as much as I've rented.  I have hidden from the heat (or the rain depending) in the theatre for both WALL-E and Hancock . Each of these summer flicks is entertaining and enjoyable in their own ways.

WALL-E is one of the most marvelous and moving films I have ever seen. The animation is exquisite and memorable, the story is serious and grave yet weighs on you as light as gossamer. Be forewarned gentle viewer if you have a heart or any romantic sentiment in your soul the theatre will get a tad dusty. Again this is a 'children's' movie that dispenses with the overly glib and ironic pop-culture references (though there are a couple of nods to some classic sci-fi films sprinkled throughout) and let's the jokes stand alone within the context of the narrative. WALL-E is a complete joy to behold an amazing film. Pixar just keeps knocking them out of the park.

Hancock is an interesting film that seems a little confused as to what it wants to be. Is Hancock a super-hero blockbuster or intimate drama exploring the alienation of the outsider in a modern disconnected society. Peter Berg (The Kingdom, The Rundown, Very Bad Things) is a director with an interesting sensibility focusing the story on the human and emotional side and sprinkling in the action set pieces here and there. Unfortunately in the action scenes there is a heavy reliance on the CGI. When the special effects kick in it really becomes hard to tell what the heck is going on, if Berg had stuck to the action model he used in The Rundown it would have matched better with the narrative of Hancock. All in all Hancock is at least an interesting take on the idea of 'super-hero', but it will be a better rental than a night out.

This week there are a couple of straight to DVD movies to discuss. The first is in keeping with the super-hero theme Batman: Gotham Knight . This is an animated anthology made up of five smaller stories that take place in between Batman Begins and this summer's The Dark Knight. Each of the chapters is animated in a different style and explores different aspects of the Batman's character and personality (or personalities if you prefer). The first chapter tells a single story Rashomon style from the viewpoint of three kids and reflects several ways of looking at the Batman. I found this chapter the most rewarding and the animation style familiar it reminded me of the anime sequence in Kill Bill. I would recommend this to Batman/animation diehards only.

The second movie I watched this week was the lethargic and crushingly poor Impact Point. A stalker attaches himself to a pro beach volleyball player. The film is an excuse to showcase women in impossibly tight swimsuits yelling at each other. Now I am aware there are blocking schemes and signals used in the sport, but when they are not explained in the least it becomes an excuse to show close-ups of women's posteriors. Of course it does star Brian Austin Green for you diehard 90210 fans in a role that will surprise you or more likely disappoint. Simply put DO NOT RENT. Sometimes there is a reason a movie is released straight to video.

Finally, there is the film Charlie Bartlett. You may have missed this one when it came through the city theaters. A lonely kid just wants to fit in at his new school so begins selling prescription medication to the other students.  Funny at times but a little too precious, if this had taken a darker approach to the material a la Pump Up The Volume it would have been way more effective. The cast are likable and the film is just okay and at times comfortingly familiar, which may have been the point.

Let me know if you agree or disagree with my thoughts and musings.

Until next blog...

 Viddy well, little brother. Viddy well.

What do you mean it's not all Asian action films?

Let's get some of the new stuff out of the way first.

Drillbit Taylor- This stars Owen Wilson as a homeless deserter from the army who is paid by three dorky kids to be there bodyguard at school. The plot moves along exactly as we have all seen a thousand times. People meet. One of them lies about something. Deception is discovered. Friendship/Romance damaged. The liar has fallen for/changed their original position. Redemption. That is not to say the movie doesn't provide some laughs along the way. A right down the middle movie, not great not terrible just there.

Vantage Point- The assassination of a President...or is it? The movies clever little conceit to show us all the action and pieces of the plot simultaneously gets tired the second time we see it. The characters have no motivation for their actions. Matthew Fox I'm looking at you. It's like 24, but not as good. Some of the action is well shot, but the story is poorly told. Characters appear out of nowhere and then are gone (Sigourney Weaver I hope your cheque cleared. Is there no-one else who could have played the role of the news director for the whole 4 minutes she is on screen?) The film is a mess. Better assassination movies to watch instead JFK, The Manchurian Candidate (the original-not the remake), the classic Day of the Jackal even Shooter is a better watch than this.

So those are 2 of the new releases this week. Now I want to tell you about a film of only slightly older vintage.

Broken English- I watched this movie last night and was moved by Parker Posey's performance. Posey plays a disconnected self-sabotaging woman alone in New York. While at times the film feels like it is approaching maudlin something about Posey keeps the film anchored and watchable. Slowly we see Posey's various efforts to begin to develop meaningful relationships with people and in doing so get to know herself. The last half of the film takes place in Paris and reminded me at times of Agnes Varda's masterpiece Cleo from 5 to 7. Broken English is subtle, touching, and real. If your looking for something with a little more substance and intelligence than most romantic comedies (most, not all and don't mind a little darker comedy with your romance) watch Broken English. 

In closing "He's fat, he's a dork, and I'm awesome"

Sean